Reclaiming and renewing yourself does not happen quickly, nor in any measurable way except that which you are mindful of. It takes enormous courage and determination, and time without boundaries. One day, you will look at the list and you will be surprised. ~ Invicta 02/13/03
Willingness to look the abuse in the face, acknowledge to yourself, and endure, the hurt, the pain, and all the other distressing and dreadful feelings that arise.
Willingness to work to express your feelings and thoughts to others about the abuse, even in spite of any shame you may yet feel.
Understanding that you were targetted and/or victimised, that regardless of any consent it seems you may have given, you were victimised.
Considering the abuse a violation, that you were violated.
Realising the damage experienced; working through, and overcoming to some degree, the feelings of shame and guilt that naturally occur from abuse.
Identifying your unique style of relating to others, including attempts to avert further hurt by avoiding honesty and intimacy, and working on changing it.
Being able to identify unrealistic fears, work them through with some success, and not being plagued with continuing anxiety.
Recognising in a general way, the burdens of perfectionism, of rage, or bitterness, and of depression- that for all their power, they can keep you stuck beyond a certain point.
Experiencing an increase in sense of worth as a person and finding yourself able to trust others more than before.
Possessing a greater ability to engage in intimate relationships with spouse, family and friends.
Recognising areas in your life where you make a difference.
Adapted from DeesRecoveryPage , ©2003-2010 InvictaMA